what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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