we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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