Soap is not a condiment
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
