I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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