i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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