I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
