Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize