butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
