he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
