I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
