I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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