she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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