and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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