He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
