oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
