Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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