Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
