I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
