i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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