There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
