Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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