So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize