great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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