Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
