so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
