Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I did not marry a roomba.
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