Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
