I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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