i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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