I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
