Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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