I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
