How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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