guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
