So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
