If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
