Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
