drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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