break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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