it hurts more in the daytime
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i think i just lost a toe
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
