What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
