Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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