Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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