Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
