Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
