let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
