Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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