You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
