Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I hate all girls vehemently.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
vagina is talking i cant
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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