No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
